What You've Always Wanted
by Moonsetta
Summary: This is the story where Raph finally becomes the leader of the TMNT. Will Leo follow or is there something not being said?


I don't own TMNT.

* * *

Raph sighed while staring down at his enemy. It was a young boy, about 14 or 15 years old. He took a glance down at the gun on the ground that had been in the boy's hands and then looked back to where his younger brothers were helping his older brother to his feet after being shot. Normally, the red banded turtle wouldn't have even hesitated to cut right through anyone that dared attack his family but this was just a boy.

"Look kid," he said pulling the kid close so their eyes were level, "Get some common sense and get out of the Foot."

He dropped him and the kid scrambled away but not before tossing off the Foot uniform. Raph smiled, that's one less kid that'll be corrupted by the Foot. He turned his attention back to his brothers as they walked towards him.

"Nice job Raph," Leo said, "I'm proud of you."

Raph smiled, "Thanks bro."

"Come on! There's pizza waiting back home!" Mikey shouted next to Leo's ear.

"Ow," Leo said before thinking that howler monkeys would have difficulty out voicing his baby brother.

"Ok," Leo said after getting his hearing back, "Let's head home."

"Are you sure you're not in too much pain Leo?" Don asked worriedly, after all his eldest brother had just been shot.

In a typical Leo-like fashion, he stepped away from his brothers and jumped to the rooftops.

"Come on, last one there's a rotten egg!"

"See ya rotten eggs!" Raph shouted as he bounded after his older brother.

Mikey and Don scrambled up quickly, debating who was truly the rotten egg when they realized Leo and Raph were fifteen rooftops ahead of them.

"NOOOOO! THEY'LL EAT ALL THE PIZZA!" Mikey shouted and bolted off as Don struggled to catch up with exuberant little brother.

Mikey and Don collapsed on the rooftop and heaved for their lost oxygen.

"You guys are out of shape," Raph said as he gazed down at his little brothers.

"Can it! Jungle boys!" Don and Mikey said in unision.

Raph and Leo shook their heads.

"They'll learn in time," Leo said.

"You know, I thought this was supposed to be a light run?" Mikey mumbled, still catching his breath.

"That was light, for them," Don said, being successful in slowing his breathing.

"Let's go eat all the pizza and leave them some moss soup," Leo suggested.

"I like the way you think bro," Raph said as they jumped down to the nearest manhole.

"NOOOOO! MY PIZZA!"

"Count off?" Raph asked.

Leo nodded and started, "3..."

"2..." Raph said as they both reached for the cover.

"1!" they shouted and threw the cover aside as an orange blur flew pat them and into the sewers.

"PIZZA! DON'T WORRY I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

The brothers laughed together as their purple banded brother dropped down from above. Don shook his head at the sight. Ever since the Winter's Incident, Leo's explanation of his absence and Raph's completion of his training the normal anger that existed between them had slowly vanished, leaving the red and blue banded turtles as best friends once more. No one's really sure how it happened but Don had his theories.

"Yo brainiac let's go," Raph said as they slipped down into the sewers.

Don smiled and dropped down as Leo followed suit, closing the lid behind them. The conversation on the way back varied as Leo talked for one minute with Raph and the next with Don. Leo and Raph always discussed something about their training. Unlike Leo, Raph had returned after the year was up but he did end up seeing more than Leo. Right before Raph had left for his training Leo warned him about a group of hunters called the Black Tigers. When Raph questioned this further everyone finally got an explanation from Leo.

He hadn't returned after a year because he wasn't aware it had been so long. For the two years he was gone about an entire year of that was being drugged by the group's scientists. Leo had managed to escape their facility and return to the jungle, thinking not so much time had passed when in reality it had been almost a year. Suddenly, all the sympathy the brothers had abandoned piled down on their shoulders in a new form, guilt. They had been hating Leo then, thinking he had abandoned them when, in reality he had been strapped to table for curious scientific minds to do with as they pleased. The blue banded turtle returned later and destroyed all evidence of his existence, except the humans.

They all reached the lair and rolled their eyes at the sound of Mikey digging into his favorite food.

"Who wants a slice before Mikey chugs it all down," Don asked as he opened a second box of pizza.

"No thanks," Leo said.

"All yours Don, we'll be in the dojo. Remember, we have practice in 20 minutes."

Don sighed, "I wish you guys would eat more."

Leo and Raph shared a look, their stomachs still had trouble handling foods they used to eat along with the rest of their family. Years of rationing fruits, roots, berries, nuts and smoked fish taught their bodies to run on less than usual and albeit sometimes the very unusual. Moss soup was just the most abundant in the jungle.

They both entered the dojo and went their separate ways. Raph to his punching bag and Leo to the meditation area. Splinter entered the room and walked to Leo where they had a quick discussion before Splinter left once again. Once out of hearing range Raph spoke up.

"I still think you're his favorite."

"I'm not," Leo said calmly.

"You're the better son."

"I'm no better than you Raphael."

Raph scoffed, "Oh come on, you've always been the prodigal son to him."

Leo sighed, he really didn't want an argument now and if things were going to fall into place this evening he couldn't have stress between him and his brother.

"Raphael would you join me in meditation?"

Raph sighed, "You know I don't like meditation."

Nevertheless, Raph walked to the other end of the dojo and sat cross legged in front of his older brother. Leo glanced into his immediate younger brother's eyes and caught that hint of childlike innocence. It was small, but still there. Leo hated that life would wear it away.

"Leo!" Raph called and Leo snapped out of his thoughts.

"Sorry Raph," Leo said.

"So, um what did Master Splinter say?" Raph asked trying to get out of the meditation.

Leo smiled, "You'll learn tonight if you pass the test."

"We got a test again! He nearly wore me out in the last test!"

Leo chuckled, "Don't worry. Now forget the meditation."

"Huh?" Raph was shocked, Leo didn't want him to meditate?

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" Raph asked with narrowed eyes.

Leo laughed, a real laugh and Raph couldn't help but smile. Leo was always way too serious.

"Ok," Leo said after calming down, "Let's get strait to the point."

"What point?"

"Raph, when did this happen?"

"What happened?"

Leo sighed and took a deep breath, "When did we grow apart?"

"Suppose it's when you became the leader," Raph said, glancing at the floor while crossing his arms over his chest.

Leo hid his next smile, oh if only he knew.

"I'm sorry," Leo said quickly but clearly.

"For what?"

"Taking the leadership position you wanted."

Raph let his arms drop, "No, sorry bro. I'm being a jerk again."

Leo shook his head, "No, you're just being you. Raph, I never did tell you about that night after Splinter named me the leader."

"No, why?"

Leo took a deep breath, "After I was chosen, I went back to Master Splinter that night and pleaded with him to choose you instead."

Raph nearly fell over, "What!"

Leo shrugged, "I never really wanted to be the leader."

"Leo, you're being perfect again," Raph warned.

"Oh, sorry," Leo said and readjusted the way he was sitting so it was the incorrect position for meditating.

They had agreed that, to help Raph, Leo would mess up more, even if it had to be on purpose. The warning sentence from Raph was always the same. He would tell Leo that he was acting too perfect so Leo would knock himself down a notch in training or the way he acted. It seemed to level them out. Raph worked harder and Leo gave in a bit. It was system that amazingly worked.

"Anyways," Leo continued, "Raph I want to explain all those years."

"Good, then you can answer questions," Raph said, "Why all the training?"

"I felt I had to protect you all. My family was so important to me."

"Hmm," Raph mused on that sentence for a moment, "Why were ya so bossy?"

"Had to be," Leo said with a shrug, "It was either Master Splinter's orders or my own subconscious nagging me."

"How come you're so good at nin-jutsu?"

"I trained more."

"Hey I trained just as-"

"No you didn't," Leo interrupted, "I trained more. You guys never knew about my extra evening and early morning training sessions."

"You had two extra training sessions?"

"Came with being the leader. Each was two hours. 4:30 am to 6:30am and then 10:00pm to midnight."

"Ok, well that explains a lot," Raph said as he stared back at his older brother.

"Well," Raph said in an unsure voice, "I know we had our rough times but did you ever really hate me? Did I ever disappoint ya?"

Leo shook his head, "Never hated you ever little brother. Angry with you sometimes yes, when you made foolish decisions but of course I made my own as well. Don't worry Splinter made me pay for them."

Raph scoffed, "He probably went easy on ya."

"Could you do 200 back flips every night at the age of 9?"

"200!" this time Raph did fall over.

Leo laughed and got up to pull Raph to his feet.

"It changed to 500 when I turned 15."

Raph staggered but Leo caught him and steadied him, "Easy bro, I don't want to have to worry about you falling over during practice."

Raph scowled at that a bit. Leo was now an equal Jonin like their sensei. The leader no longer practiced with the team, he taught them along side their father. Raph had finished his training but Splinter said he wasn't ready to move forward.

"Leo, what am I missing?" Raph asked.

"Missing?" Leo asked with a skeptical eye.

"Master Splinter said I have the qualities of a good leader," Raph was about to try to list them off when Leo spoke up.

"You're strong, passionate and loyal."

Raph blinked, "Ok but he said only when-"

"They're tempered with compassion and humility," Leo said.

"Did he tell you?"

"No, I just see the same things."

Raph sighed, "So there is something wrong with me."

"Raph, nothing's wrong with you. You're a strong warrior, a passionate protector and a loyal brother."

"Then why wasn't I good enough to be the leader?"

"You were, you still are. All of us could be the leader it's just that the role would be uncomfortable for some."

"Like how?"

"Well, take Don. He likes to weigh his options and spend a lot of time deciding the best course of action."

"That wouldn't be a good thing if he had to make decisions quickly," Raph guessed.

Leo nodded, "Now Mikey-"

"Just needs to grow up," Raph finished.

Leo sighed, "And you-"

"Yeah?"

"Actually, you used to act right on instinct. You never bothered to sit down and think the problem out."

"Well I-"

"You used to!" Leo interrupted and then lowered his voice, "You're a much better person now."

Raph blinked, he still had a question, "Why'd you say you were better than me?"

Leo smiled, "I didn't mean I'm better than you in strength, speed or anything like that. I meant I've learned more and I'm a better person because of it. I have more patience."

Raph scowled, "Well, I can't argue with that. You do."

"You're much better at being you though. That's all that matters."

Leo held out his hand and Raph blinked twice, this was it. They could put it all aside. This would be the apology and forgiveness. Raph reached out and took his brother's hand. Truths rose above the lies.

There was never hate, never a favorite, never accusations and never weaknesses. Leo was the leader and Raph threw away his desire to lead to leave room for respect for his older brother. Just as Leo was about to step away Raph pulled him forward and the brothers hugged like they hadn't in years.

"Don quick get the camera they're being nice to each other again! We gotta have photo evidence! Hurry they're even hugging!"

Don ran in with a camera but found the batteries were dead.

"Ah man!" he and Mikey complained in unison.

Leo and Raph laughed and stepped away from one another just as Splinter walked through the door, "Kneel my students."

Raph, Mikey and Don all kneeled while Leo went to the far side of the room, probably for a simple observation of their teamwork tonight. Raph suddenly remembered what Leo had said, there was a test. He hated tests, he never did any good on them, whether they were on paper or requiring physical movement and fitness. With Leo no longer training with them at these occasions it gave Raph the chance to impress his father. Which he was doing a lot of lately.

"My students, tonight is the night I pass the baton. Your training will be coached by Leonardo."

Leo finished polishing his blades and crossed the room. He bowed to his master and Splinter slightly shook his head. It seemed Leonardo was intent on reminding the rat that he would always be the turtle's sensei.

"Rise my sons," Splinter said.

They all got to their feet and stared as Splinter stepped away and Leo took his spot.

"They are under your watchful eye Leonardo," Splinter said, "I will be in the living room. My stories are having a marathon tonight."

The brothers laughed as their sensei exited the room, so that explains it.

"All right, let's calm down," Leo said composing a strait face, this was it.

Leo took a deep breath, he was excited but scared at the same time, this would mean everything.

"My students," he said slowly and caught a few smiles, "Kneel."

Mikey laughed and kneeled, Don followed suit but Raph still stood.

"Raphael?" Leo asked.

Raph's thoughts were racing, this was it. The time he has to kneel to his own brother. He took two deep breaths and slowly lowered himself to the ground, his knees met the floor and his head fell forwards. Then he took another deep breath, he had done it. He'd shown that he was as ready to follow Leo as he was Splinter.

Leo smiled, a few tears of happiness building behind his eyes. After all the time, all the training was finally paying off. Suddenly, two years in Central America was worth it. He had earned his little brothers' respect.

"Raphael rise," he spoke so surely Raph couldn't help but get to his feet.

"I'm very proud of you Raphael. You've passed the test."

"Test?" Mikey asks.

"There was a test?" Don asked, looking suddenly nervous, he didn't like failing tests.

"It was a test for Raphael," Leo said with a smile none of them had seen on his face ever.

"What test?" Raph asked.

"You kneeled, you've shown humility my brother."

"Oh," Raph said.

"Of course he would spring **that **kind of test on me," Raph thought.

"Now, when I completed my training I was given a medal as proof of becoming a Jonin," Leo said and then turned to a box on the table.

He gently opened the lid and took out a medal that gleamed with gold. He walked to Raph and the red banded turtle could only stare. This…this couldn't be what he thought it was! Could it! Leo looked Raph dead in the eyes when he spoke.

"This medal belonged to Master Yoshi. It was granted to him by the Utroms when he became a Guardian Prime."

Leo raised the medal and slipped it over Raph's head until it rested around his neck. Raph could still only stare at the gleaming gold.

"Congratulations Hamato Raphael, you're now a ninja master."

"You mean Raph's a Jonin like you!" Mikey cried in a distraught voice, "Donny we gotta catch up they're totally swamping us!"

Raph reached up with a shaking hand to touch the golden medal, "But you said I-"

"Needed compassion and humility. You showed compassion to that boy in the Foot tonight and don't think I don't understand how hard it was to kneel."

Raph…couldn't believe it…all those years. It was all the support below him. He was finally a ninja master.

"Leo I-" Raph had trouble finding his voice.

Leo bowed to him as a Jonin would to another of equal stature. Raph bowed back, his limbs still a bit shaky. Leo held out his hand and Raph took it.

"Join me up here Raphael," Leo said.

Raph took one step across that invisible boundary line their father had set up and he felt his body fill with pride. All the training was done. He was here, a Jonin, a ninja master. As he fully stood on one side of that imaginary line it seemed like something changed. He turned to Leo with a smile and threw his arms around his older brother.

"Thank you!" he cried as he buried his face into Leo's shoulder.

"Donny get your camera, it's happening again! No one's going to believe it unless we have proof!"

Leo and Raph shared a smile and hugged each other tighter.

"So what now?" Raph asked as they stepped away, "What do I do?"

Leo smiled softly and then spoke quickly, "You teach."

Raph's gaze settled over his younger brothers and then back down at the medal, shining with a golden glow, "Uh, I don't think I'm quite ready just yet."

"Of course you are," Leo said and then stepped over the boundary line to the others.

"Leo," Raph whispered in stunned silence.

Leo turned to face his red banded brother and then lowered himself to the ground, kneeling to Raphael.

"Where do we begin, sensei," Leo said, ready to follow any instruction.

Leo bowed his head and closed his eyes. He heard a thump followed by Mikey's loud voice.

"Dude, he just totally passed out!"

* * *

Leo laughed as Raph stumbled out of Don's lab.

"No fighting and/or heavy lifting! Do you hear me?" Don ranted as he followed the red banded turtle out.

"Got it Don," Raph said before making his way to the laughing Leo.

Leo ceased his laughter and simply smiled.

"Please tell me there aren't any more surprises tonight," Raph begged.

"Sorry, there's one more," Leo said as he closed his eyes.

Raph groaned.

"Tell me if he passes out again!" Mikey shouted from the couch where he was playing a video game.

"Don't encourage it!" Don commanded from his lab.

"Don will be next," Leo thought out loud.

Raph nodded, "So what is it?"

"Come with me," Leo said as he walked to his room.

Raph stared at the door for a second in silence. The younger brothers were free to come to Leo in the evening if they had a nightmare but hardly ever did Leo actually invite someone in. Once inside Raph glanced around the room slowly, thinking he should start remembering everything now for he doubted he would be back in here any time soon. He watched with a suspicious eye as Leo locked the door and held on to the key.

"What is it?" Raph asked.

Leo took a deep breath, "I'm not sure how to say this….uh."

Leo trailed off until it seemed he was struck with an idea. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out another medal. The red banded turtle recognized it all too well.

"That's the one Master Splinter gave you to name you the leader," Raph said.

"Yes," Leo said and turned towards him, "Raph, I've been invited by the ninja tribunal to train under them as an apprentice."

"What?" Raph said, staggering back.

Raph then eyed the small backpack on Leo's bed. No, he couldn't. Raph's face turned into a scowl.

"You're leaving us again!" he cried, no this couldn't be true.

"I'm sorry," Leo began but was cut off.

"Forget it I don't want to hear anything from you ever again!" Raph yelled turning to the door only to remember it was locked.

"Raphael, I wouldn't leave unless I knew there would be someone here to take my place."

Raph froze.

"You're the best one for that job. I'm counting on you to lead them and take care of them."

"But Leo I-"

He was cut off as Leo grabbed his hand and placed the medal in it, "I'll be back for this."

Leo turned and grabbed the backpack.

"How long?"

"A year."

"It better be just a year, you better come home."

"I will," Leo said and walked back to hug Raph.

That small action was all it took. A burning throat and stinging eyes lead to only one thing. Raph hugged back much more fiercely and let tears escape his eyes.

"You can do it Raph, you're a ninja master and now the leader of the team. If Donny and Mikey still prefer you as the leader when I return, you can count on me to follow."

"You'll still always be my leader."

Leo stepped back and unlocked the door, "Goodbye."

"Bye."

1 year later

"You've grown," Leo commented as he stepped forward.

Raph flew forward and captured Leo in a hug, "You have too bro."

"LEO!" shouted two other voices as Mikey and Don ran forward to hug their eldest brother as well.

"Here bro, I made sure to keep it safe," Raph said holding out the leadership medal to Leo.

"Thank you," Leo said and let his fingers linger on the medal for an extra second before taking it in his hand.

"You're still my leader bro," Raph said with a smile.

* * *

Not really sure where this came from…

I blame my brain mixed with a bunch of two wheeled logic.

Reviews? They make me happy! ^_^

~Moonsetta


End file.
